The true novelist is the one who doesn’t quit. – John Gardner(On Becoming A Novelist)
I learned a lot from reading that book in the last couple weeks. I know that not everyone makes it as a novelist, only those who have the determination and drive to not give up. Am I one of these, yes I am. With the support I have from friends, family and other writers I believe in this. I strongly believe that if you don’t believe in yourself no one else will either. With the help of those I trust and love I know this will happen, there are no second thoughts anymore. Vampires are my chosen topic, I do not feel I chose it. I feel it chose me. The creatures in my mind wander back and forth during the day, waiting for the night, and the opportunity to come through my strokes of the keys.
The night is the only place where I feel the writing come alive. I write during my lunch hour, however, it does not have the power that my night-time writing does. Staying up until 1 in the morning sucks, though most of the time I am up that late I don’t notice until I look at the clock. The way everything seems to flow at certain times is like a mask hiding the hours of the day. It is something John Gardner calls the “fictive dream” when you are writing and go back and read what is on the page and do not remember writing it. That happens a lot now, it did not happen very much when I was younger. It feels like a dream state, an hour will pass and it feels like ten minutes. As I have said before, I know why Stephen King writes so many novels, to keep himself in that state as often as possible. It feels better than any high I have experienced, like being asleep at the wheel and the soul of who you are as a writer takes over.
One thing I have to say is if you are struggling as a writer, regardless of where you are in the process. Never let anyone tell you that you cannot do it. Believe in yourself and you can do anything. I would like to thank my cousin Michelle for her help in my writing, and with keeping my head buried in the process. Without her help and guidance I am not sure I would still be doing this. Thanks Michelle.