Determination and resilience!

The true novelist is the one who doesn’t quit. – John Gardner(On Becoming A Novelist)

I learned a lot from reading that book in the last couple weeks. I know that not everyone makes it as a novelist, only those who have the determination and drive to not give up. Am I one of these, yes I am. With the support I have from friends, family and other writers I believe in this. I strongly believe that if you don’t believe in yourself no one else will either. With the help of those I trust and love I know this will happen, there are no second thoughts anymore. Vampires are my chosen topic, I do not feel I chose it. I feel it chose me. The creatures in my mind wander back and forth during the day, waiting for the night, and the opportunity to come through my strokes of the keys.

The night is the only place where I feel the writing come alive. I write during my lunch hour, however, it does not have the power that my night-time writing does. Staying up until 1 in the morning sucks, though most of the time I am up that late I don’t notice until I look at the clock. The way everything seems to flow at certain times is like a mask hiding the hours of the day. It is something John Gardner calls the “fictive dream” when you are writing and go back and read what is on the page and do not remember writing it. That happens a lot now, it did not happen very much when I was younger. It feels like a dream state, an hour will pass and it feels like ten minutes. As I have said before, I know why Stephen King writes so many novels, to keep himself in that state as often as possible. It feels better than any high I have experienced, like being asleep at the wheel and the soul of who you are as a writer takes over.

One thing I have to say is if you are struggling as a writer, regardless of where you are in the process. Never let anyone tell you that you cannot do it. Believe in yourself and you can do anything. I would like to thank my cousin Michelle for her help in my writing, and with keeping my head buried in the process. Without her help and guidance I am not sure I would still be doing this. Thanks Michelle.

Until dusk,


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2 Responses to Determination and resilience!

  1. michellezinkbooks says:

    Thank you so much, Brian. It’s my honor to support other writers – especially those who obviously have a gift.

    I was nodding during this when you mention the “active dream”. That is so often how I feel when writing (or afterward when I realize how much I’ve written or go back and re-read). It’s a kind of euphoria, but it’s also an escape from my own demons. I do realize now, whether it’s healthy or not, that immersing myself in other worlds is a way to escape sometimes from my own. Seeking that escape might seem cowardly, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I feel things more deeply than many people. Things hurt me, pain me, even torment me on an almost-daily basis. Things about which other people don’t’ seem to notice or care. It makes my mind chaotic and makes it difficult to calm my spirit sometimes.

    Writing is an ever-present Zen state. It’s always there is I need to slip away, and it is often the only thing that makes me feel sane.

    When I was working to get published, I was bombarded on every side by people saying it was a dream. It was impossible. Statistics were thrown at me right and left. Only one in 5,000 manuscripts ever finds an agent. The average advance for a debut author is only $10,000, barely a blip in your bank account when spread out over a 1-2 year period the way advances are.

    But you know what? I did find an agent. And I did get published. And the advance earned in my three-day pre-empt by Little Brown was immeasurably more than $10,000. I did it by tuning out the noise and writing until something stuck.

    Every single day debut books are bought, sold, announced.

    Why not you?


    • B_Baker says:

      I totally agree. The reason i write is to fight off the demons that run through my head on a daily basis. The escape of writing is better than the escape of reading to me. Those few hours when the dream state of writing is active are some of the best parts of my day. I don’t see them as cowardly. I see them as other people drink, drugs or whatever, writing is my drug, it is my way of escaping life and going to other places that only I know about(at least until my wife reads it).
      That part of writing has always been the reason I started in the first place. The first time I wrote and entered that dream state I was hooked.

      I totally understand where you’re coming from Michelle. I feel that writing is the only thing that calms me when I have had a bad day at work, or life is not going according to plan(it never does).

      Thank you for all your support with my writing, I can’t wait for Guardian of the Gate.


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