The thoughts of killing off the story (finishing it) have been running rampant through my mind the last few days. I am on the third draft. However, it feels like the first with everything that has changed since the rough draft. Added people, and had other ones fall to the side to be replaced by new takes on old scenes, or different twists that I did not see coming. Two of these twists have happened in the last few days. As with any writing I am not sure why these things popped up. Some of them help with other things in the plot of the story as well as with other things that I have planned for later in the story.
I have changed my music back to Chopin and have done away with movie scores for the time being. I have been getting better results with Chopin. The sound of the piano across the keys feels like a force directing the story to different places. This past week I reached the 40k mark and I am hoping to reach 50 in the next week and half. I have gone over some of the writing in glimpses and adjusted and revised some of the content. These were just minuscule revisions and I know that more will be needed later. The work itself has been fun, tiring, stress full and exhausting. There have been nights when I have been up until 1:30 and would have to wake at 7:00 to get up and go to the job that pays the bills. I have been living on a lot of caffeine. There are nights, when I am just too tired from my day job and I must get some rest or I know I will pay for it later. I counteract that by writing harder or longer the next day. I write during my lunch hour for thirty minutes and at night after the kids and my wife have gone to bed for 2-3 hours. The make up sessions of writing seem to be the most interesting. Knowing that I have the support of my family, friends and other writers behind me has made the biggest difference.
When I initially told a few people that I was writing a book they would hound me constantly about what the story was about. I have stopped telling, other than saying it is about vampires, and saying how many words I am up to. They are amazed how many words are in a normal sized book (95,000) for those that did not know. Some books have more depending on their genre. Fantasy books because of the content and how epic they usually are can range in the 200,000’s. That is a lot of time consuming work for one person. On a normal day I average from between 2,000 to 5,000. I have done a 6,000 in one sitting though.
I choose not to give in to the little monsters in my head that tell me I will never be a published writer. I know I will, and knowing that helps me get to the next sentence everyday.