There are first times for a writer, the first time you read what you wrote and think it is beautiful. The first time you let someone (not a relative) read what you wrote and they think it is wonderful. There are other firsts, when you finally grasp the things that your writing teacher and other writers have been trying to tell you about your writing. When you finally begin to understand what the WiP means, what the story really is about. Not the small things and hidden meanings. When you understand where the story is going before you sit down to write. There are too many things to list. This week, reaching the 40k mark and knowing that I am nearly half way towards my goal. That is one of the firsts that I will remember forever. The knowing that I am creating something with the little words (or bugs as I like to call them) that is something that I have been enjoying since I first began to write poetry and short stories in my teens.
When I finally began to think about where I was going in my life and I didn’t like what I saw. That was the point when I truly thought that I should write (as many friends and family have suggested). Reaching that point took the loss of a house, being nearly bankrupt because I liked to spend money too much and not really enjoying life with my wife and kids. This year and the latter part of last year, something changed in me. I began to believe in myself more than I ever had. I began to notice things about myself that I was not happy about. I realized that I drank too much alcohol, I have since quit drinking altogether. Finding myself and discovering who I wanted to be has been the greatest part of the journey towards completing my novel and one day, publication.
I find myself thinking at times, as I am sure numerous other authors have, that it can’t be done. That publication will not happen. I have turned away the things in my life that I felt were pulling me down. Alcohol and some relationships have been sacrificed to better myself. I feel that I am nearly where I want to be as a writer and as a person.