There is a time in every writer’s life that we have to choose to ignore certain people or things in our head that tell us we are no good. I went most of my life dealing with a doubter. A couple things changed this:
1. Not having people to kick me around and say I won’t be what I want to be.
Choosing to be away from some people is not always the way to go with this. For me I didn’t have much of a choice.
2. Having more faith in myself than I have in other people.
When I chose to believe in my writing, it came slowly, very slowly. That I am writing this blog and have written a novel and five short stories among other things is a testament to my desire.
I used to believe the things people said. It took getting away from things and people who only doubted what I knew in my heart I was capable of. A few things made me believe I could do this. One is the belief my wife had in me. The other is the birth of my son. I knew if I wanted to be a good role model for my son I would have to do things that were hard.
Writing is hard, sitting at a computer is not as easy as people think it is. There have been times I stared at the monitor for ten minutes before any words came out. My son knows I am writing something, he doesn’t know what it is, only that daddy is writing a book. He is seven and knows that it is important to me and knows to leave me alone when I am writing, which I don’t do very often when he is awake.
Through my life I have had been bullied by kids in elementary school, middle school. Middle school was the worst; it was also when I started writing to escape from what was being done to me. Writing is the escape I wish I had as a child in elementary school. I know I would have been published already if I had continued writing but life got in the way of that.
I am older, have learned a lot about life, and have lost things that I cared about. Those things can be as small as being discharged from Marine boot camp to as extreme as my wife and I having to go through a miscarriage. Going through the miscarriage and the eventual birth of our son has changed me as a person and has made me realize what is important in life and what matters most.
The love of my wife and two kids is more important than the love of my father. Being who I am and not caring what people think about who I am is important to me. Knowing that I have set an example for my two kids that they can do whatever they want with their life, that is important to me. Not being judged by anyone, least of all someone who doesn’t know me anymore, that is important to me.
I chose to ignore certain people and their doubts about me. I still love them, but have chosen my wife and kids and the life I have instead of their ideas of what or who I should be. Being this father, husband and writer is what is important to me. Being someone my kids can look up to without regard is important.
Refusing to be judged by people that have no business judging me that is important to me.