Being good at something is all I wanted as a kid. I tried soccer. It was something my parents put me in not something I chose. I eventually tried ice hockey after baseball wasn’t me either. Finding what I’m good at has always haunted me. It is the one thing I remember as a kid. “You have to be good at something.” My dad said after I scored a goal for the other team in soccer. Some things you never forget as a kid.
I have spoken about how I’ve wanted to make my dad proud of me and how much I still love him even though we don’t talk anymore. It is a mutual thing.
Being good at writing is something that I wanted for myself. It was never about my dad, or anyone else. I know it sounds like the most selfish of reasons. But for once I wanted something for me. Because I wanted to. I know that this goes against everything I’ve been taught, “we should want to do something for the world, not just for ourselves.”
After today, I’m writing for myself. I always wanted to do something for me in my life. I’ve really lived–in my eyes–and unselfish life and my writing, I want to do that for me. There are stories I want to tell and lives I want to create with words, entire worlds waiting to come alive if I only write for myself.
I trust in my beliefs and in what I know is true. I have true faith in what life has to offer and I know I’m capable of great things. I want to write for me.
Wanting to do something with my life that brings joy to others is what I’ve wanted to do since I was a little kid. When I was a kid I felt like I was the only one that saw that.
I know what I want, it is the doing that is the challenge. I’m changing things. Making new rules to do this. I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions. This is a New Life Resolution. I’m changing who I am day to day, and maybe along the way I will change a few people with me.