So, we found out our son has ADD

I’m not sure when we thought it might happen, but we were kind of expecting it. He’s seven and after first grade we thought he was doing better. Through the summer break we had him work on his handwriting, which wasn’t very good–neither is mine–and he fought us every day with it.

I’m not sure if there was switch that was thrown–my wife and I have debated this–between Kindergarten and first grade but between those two he was different. I’m not sure if the school he went to for kindergarten taught him well enough–it was a daycare with a kindergarten–or if just didn’t act like that then.

Since first grade started he had problems. When we sit to do his homework, he fights, he screams and yells, calls us names. And we’ve tried disciplining him, taking things away from him and nothing worked.

Being in second grade we hoped he changed, but we are now halfway through the school year, his grades are low and we–his mom and I and his teacher–did the checklist for ADD/ADHD and it came back for ADD. He isn’t hyperactive he just can’t focus on a singular task.

Now we are at a different crossroad, we are giving him a homeopathic medicine for ADD/ADHD. My wife went to his doctor appointment, while I stayed home with our 2-year-old. The doctor suggested Concerta. We don’t want to give him medication. Right now, with how his grades are and how much stress this is causing in the house.

My wife is worried he is going to be held back. He’s a smart kid, he just learns differently than other kids. Teachers don’t have the time to spend with every kid, there are just too many kids to classroom.

Our son plays the guitar, has been for almost a year and I don’t want to take that away from him. It is something he enjoys and it is getting good at it. Even with this, something he enjoys he fights with us about practicing.

We are truly at our last straw. I don’t want to give him medication but I want him to do well in school.

My other worry is about his imagination and that he will lose it through being medicated.

When I have trouble writing, I look to him and watch him with his Transformers, and Legos and marvel and the things he creates, the stories he comes up with. He could teach Michael Bay a thing or two about Transformer storylines.

Both my wife and I are artists, my wife paints, I’m a writer and we encourage our kids to do things with the arts, which is why our son plays guitar. To read more about how that came to be read this post.

His imagination makes me want to write more, and I don’t want to take that away from him. I wish there was another way to do this, it’s just getting to the point we don’t have another option.



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6 Responses to So, we found out our son has ADD

  1. It will be OK. While I have seen kids so drugged they could hardly function, I have also seen kids transformed and relieved they are finally able to control themselves. The trick seems to be the dosage and the timing of the dosage – and having a really good doctor. Schools are not really set up for kids (more of a widget warehouse). Kids do not sit for long periods well – neither do adults. He is reacting to something. Would suggest sunshine each day if possible, and exercise. Kuk sool won may help as it teaches breathing control, concentration techniques, and self discipline – along with a lot of purposeful jumping around and loud noises – which boys like and need to do. Try to stay calm. It will be OK, seriously. Hang in there.

    • BB_Baker says:

      Thanks for this, this helps so much. I wish they had a Kuk sool won Dojo in Las Vegas. I’ve looked into other martial arts, Aikido, Kenpo and Jujitsu. He’s more worried about getting hit. Which I’ve tried to tell him, it’s not like that, at least not at the start. A good instructor in Martial arts helps too. Thanks so much for your comments and suggestions. Going to look into Martial Arts again.

      • Might also think about swimming/ swim team – soothing water. Some do really well with horseback riding. There’s something about bossing around a really big animal – and you learn to be calm around them because they are skittish and depend on you to tell them it’s ok and guide them. For homework maybe try a chair with wheels on it – some kids have to move to learn. Walking up and down the hall reading out loud is ok also. Just trial and error – something will work. Just have to be creative and have a sense of humor.

  2. JB says:

    I am a middle school Special Education teacher. The ONLY 100% effective “treatment” for ADD is parents who care enough to always keep trying. I had a very difficult and honest discussion with a parent of a child with Autism. No matter how hard they have been trying, the disability had taken its toll on their marriage. I am only a teacher, and cannot imagine what life is like to have a diagnosed child of my own. But I want to encourage you to continue to work with your son. I consider myself to be good at my job, but the positive effects that parents have on their children is immeasurable. Be Encouraged. A diagnosis is NOT the end, but the beginning of rediscovering your child.


    • BB_Baker says:

      Thanks JB. We’re learning a lot about ADHD and how we learn ourselves as we learn about our son. We have him on a Homeopathic that is working really well right now and have been working with his teacher, who has been a a lot of help. His teacher last year was a first year teacher and didn’t really know what she was doing and it has hurt his progress this year. Thanks a lot for your comments.

  3. Pingback: My Magnificent Writing Epiphany « B.B. Baker, An Inked Life

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