The guys who fear becoming fathers don’t understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man. The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent. ~Frank Pittman,
A while ago I posted about the King and him being diagnosed with ADHD. Now, if you have ever been around him you would completely agree.
Last night, we were at the grocery store, him and I. Getting stuff for the penne and sausage that I was going to make for dinner. Walking through the grocery store, he was touching everything. I don’t mean as in a child wanting to play with things, It was like he did it inadvertently. He didn’t know he was doing it.
I would tell him to stop, he would look at me with his big blue eyes like I had just taken his favorite toy. It was a look that had gone away for the last month with some homeopathic pills we had started giving him.
These pills had helped him enough that he was doing better in school before the Christmas break. But, it was during that break that he started going back to the way he was before the homeopathics.
We had wanted to avoid putting him on medication. It is something neither of us wanted to do. I don’t think any parent wants to. Right now we are back where we started. His grades are dropping, his daily progress reports are bad. But it’s not that I’m worried about so much. Its the look he gives me and the way he talks.
He has always been more grown up, on the inside. He is smaller on the outside. But, like me he is emotionally driven. It has to do with both of us being Pisces and that he has always been closer to me than his mom.
When I picked him up today–before our trip to the store–he gave me that defeated look. Parents with kids with learning disabilities know this look. He just wants to do good, but no matter what he does, it doesn’t happen. He tries, I know he does. But that look, the look of a defeated kid.
When he looks at you, puts his head down and you just want to hug him and tell him it’s okay. He says, “I’m sorry, dad. I don’t know why I can’t do this.” It is those types of things. When he says that I just want to take him away, quit my job and home-school him. I can’t afford to quit my job, not in this economy, and not in this city.
Right now, I’m hoping for more good days. I’ve had enough of bad days, I know he has too. He gets frustrated easy, very easy. Every day is another struggle.
I know things will get better, it’s just waiting for them.