Getting the courage

Something happened this week, an

I’ve been writing this book. It’s Science Fiction/YA. When I first started it was supposed to be this haunted house short story, but the story took a turn–as they do–and it turned into this science fiction book. At the time I started writing it I blew through goals I had set for it. In the first week I hit 12k, which for me never happens. At the time I had a story I wanted to write and had tried writing but, well it was causing me problems.

My most trusted adviser–not my wife–has been helping me out with my writing. She is published and has given me ideas and tips on things that I never would of thought of. I told her about the science fiction story and it didn’t really grab her. She suggested I write the story that had been giving me problems, which I started writing and was about 13k in when I hit a wall. I had hit a wall with that story before.  The previous wall was nothing like this one.  I hit it and there was nothing I could do. I even went on a road trip just for the story. The trip was cathartic and I learned a lot but as far as the story it still sat.

Now that it is a few months down the road from that debacle and I’m learning that sometimes a story that is too close to who you are is not exactly what you should write at a certain time. I truly love the other story and everything in it, but there are things that happen in the story that maybe I haven’t learned or dealt with. I can’t talk about the story for obvious reasons but it is one that I know would do very well.

The story I’m currently writing–science fiction/YA–is halfway there, at least I hope. I know where to go from where I’m at. I will be writing the other story after this one, I just needed some time away from a story that is extremely personal. The characters, story, situations and everything else in the other story were too personal at the time and I had not dealt with them. It took that trip for me to deal with them. I forgave a lot of things on that trip, and a lot of people.

Now I’m on the road to recovery for myself and for my writing.

I feel that writing is that little life force inside us that asks for air every once in a while. It pushes at us and prods us. Tells us to try and be who we want to be, not what others say we are. It took me a long time to get to be who I am and not be afraid of this person. It was the being afraid of who I am that made me stop writing the other story, I know that now. I found out a lot this week. It has been one where I wish I’d done it sooner, but some times we can’t push the issue we have to wait for things to happen or they won’t force us to understand our selves the way we need to.

I have a few short stories that I’ve posted on here in the last few weeks, some are very personal and some were just for fun. I’m going to be cleaning them up and sending them off in the next month. As for the Sci-Fi/YA, I’m going to finish that this month and get started on the rewrites a few weeks after that. I have a lot of ground to cover, but I know I’m taking the first steps to be who I want to be not who others think I should be.


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6 Responses to Getting the courage

  1. jasondegray says:

    Best of luck on your journeys! Looking forward to seeing where it leads.

  2. Nona says:

    “I feel that writing is that little life force inside us that asks for air every once in a while.”
    Definitely. Been here myself. Might be getting there again with one of my story revisions… but I am SO CLOSE to being done that I hate to just… well… stop. I’m pushing through the reluctance, or at least trying to ignore it, with the promise of taking a break after this final revision is done. 🙂 Maybe I will take a lesson from you and go on a little retreat to gather myself before I start the next final revision project?

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