Losing family reminds us of who we are. I makes us aware of our surroundings. It takes our daily life and throws it into shambles. When we’re close to that person it makes it that much harder to go on with our lives afterward.
We see our lives as one long stream of thought. Others see our lives in flashes, small glimpses of who we are or were. These things are neither here nor there. They are truly the things we think about when the person has passed on.
Our grieving and our constant thought of that person after the news of their passing makes it harder. We find ourselves lost in a torrential downpour of grief, of seeing that person everywhere, smelling familiar smells. It could be their cologne, perfume, the way a kitchen smells or the taste of foods they made.
Life finds little things to remind us of that person. After twenty years those smells still raise something in our psyche. It makes things familiar again. It keeps us remembering all those times we spent with that person.
We find our lives day by day, week by week and year by year. We chug along like The Little Engine that could. I think I can, I think I can. Until we get to that point in our grieving where we reach the top of the hill and yell. I KNEW I COULD, I KNEW I COULD!
It’s then after we sit in our minds, our locked doors become unlocked. We’re able to function and move on. The pain is always there, it never leaves us. It’s a reminder of how much we loved that person and how much we’ll miss them.
She made us blankets, chocolates, clothes, pies and is one of the strongest willed woman I’ve ever known. She helped in the war effort in WW II. She raised five kids and loved bingo. I’ll miss her very much. The pain of the loss will always be with me.
It reminds me of who she was, who I am, and ultimately where I come from. I haven’t seen her in the last twelve years because of my pride and that makes her loss worse.
I’ll miss you grandma and everything you did for me.