10 Things you can do to help your bullied kid.

When I was bullied in school I always wished there was someone who could have helped me. A teacher, another student or one of my parents. But I never told them about how bad it was, they’re only finding out now.

I’ve been thinking about what I could  do to help another kid that is taking the abuse like I did.

I came up with 10 things that could help someone that is being bullied. These are for mostly for parents.

1. Talk to your kids. If you think they’re being bullied talk to them. This is huge. I had no one to talk to. The friends I had didn’t do anything, the teachers didn’t care and my parents were oblivious.

2. Let them know how much you care about them, and tell them daily. Let them now that you will help them with whatever they do.

3. Don’t judge them. If your kid is being bullied, don’t tell him, “it’s because you’re smaller than the other kids. You just need to bulk up.” This doesn’t work, didn’t for me. It only made me feel worse.

4. Watch them for signs. This could be a change in attitude, skipping school, possible drug use. The drugs used are usually from a medicine cabinet, or in my case cough medicine. Talk to them if you’re concerned, but don’t judge. As parents we often forget how hard school was.

5. Listen to them, this is different from talking to them. Listening to them means listening to what they want out of life. Kids know more about life than adults give them credit for.

6. Find out their interests, this goes along with five but is different. You may not like their music, but knowing what they’re into musically will help you decide if they’re depressed or thinking about suicide.

7. Find out who their friends are. I’m not saying have them over for a barbecue, that would be awkward for your kid and their friend. Knowing their friends parents will help you all understand your kids, and help you both look for warning signs of depression.

8. This one is for teachers: Pay attention. Don’t be the teacher bullied kids hate going to. The one who gives them the lesson, then buries his head in a book or puts on his headphones.

9. Find out what your kids are reading. There are a lot of books that help kids get through the trauma of school life. Speak, Catcher in the Rye, Looking for Alaska, Lovely Bones are some of them. I am not saying don’t let them read these books, that’s censorship. Ask them why they’re reading them. Maybe think about reading them yourself.

10. Listen, I said this before. But listening to them, finding out who they believe they are. What they want out of life. What they want to be when they’re adults. Don’t use the term, “Grow up”, ever!

Anything you would add to these? Respond in the comments.

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6 Responses to 10 Things you can do to help your bullied kid.

  1. My Dear son, I love you with all my heart, I’m so sorry i didn’t know..

  2. When I was a kid, I was bullied endlessly. In fact, my life was filled with a non stop stream of bullies. So when a bunch of kids decided to beat up my kid in the locker room at middle school, I took him out of there and moved him to a smaller school.
    Kids should be taught by their parents to look out for each other. Kids are screwed up because their parents are screwed up. The answer lies with parents, you can’t do another parents job, it doesn’t work. It’s not the same. Parents have to be taught how to teach their kids. Everyone knows what is screwed up in this world but nobody knows how to fix the system to get results that actually work.

    • I completely agree. The problem is with the parents.

    • The teachers don’t want to talk to the parents because their afraid they’ll do something. The parents are afraid to do something to stop their kids from bullying. The cycle goes round, but no wants to step in a stop it. I’m sorry for your son. Being bullied is one of the hardest things to deal with.

  3. The short story “The Scarlet Ibis” is a good one for kids and parents to read and discuss. (Out loud is good) I’ve seen big kids in tears during it – it covers so many emotions and feelings they are dealing with.
    Supporting your kid must start around age 3. Teach them words to deal with situations and to stand up for themselves. At 3-4 they can learn to plant their feet like Superman with hands on hips and say VERY loudly “I don’t like you doing____ to me. I want you to stop now.” Often that stops another kid in their tracks. It empowers them to solve problem on their own. They need to keep repeating those phrases louder and louder ( usually an adult will intervene by that point – but the kid caused the solution). Learning how to appear confident and in control is critical at any age.
    Really good points in this post.
    This is a dreadful problem. While there has always been bullies – it’s worse now. Possibly because the kids see their parents ridicule and bully others constantly ( even the grocery store). The TV shows and commercials are full of mean behavior- and people laugh at people getting hurt or ridiculed.
    Classic / traditional literature offers great opportunities for teachers to discuss character’s actions – and relate them to real life situations in discussions and writing. But that can only happen if the literature is read ( orally works fine), and time spent discussing. Schools teach tests, give multiple choice tests, do worksheets, some have poorly trained/burned out teachers – and the curriculum must include strong stories with good characterization…
    All I can say is good luck. Talking is so critical and keeping an eye on your kid is so important.

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