On The Road With My Darker Self.


Dark trail

Dark trail (Photo credit: Aidan O’Sullivan)

It crawls in, permeating and grabbing hold of your insides. Its claws waiting for the chance to spring out, waiting for the day you’re ready.

This is what it feels like, at least to me, when a dark story pops into my brain.

I know these dark stories better than the other ones, the dark ones sit and fester, sharpening their claws, digging in, waiting for the right time.

I haven’t written a dark story for a while, but one recently popped into my brain, and it’s now dug in. Its burrowed itself into my head, it’s contemplating its next move, biding its time.

I started it last night, not without reservations. It is wonderful to be dealing with something that is more me. These dark stories are something I’ve written a lot of, but for the last year or so, they haven’t materialized into anything worthwhile.

There are many things that I believe have changed this.

  • The new season of Dexter is awesome!
  • I’m reading darker material, Neil Gaiman, China Mieville, Bret Easton Ellis‘ “American Psycho” has also been on my mind.
  • Been watching some darker movie, Hellraiser, American Werewolf in London.
  • I’ve also been thinking about my vampire novel a bit, which is odd since I put it away, because honestly, the last thing the market needs is another vampire book.

All of these things have led me to where I am and all of them have pushed me away at one point, most notably my vampire novel. With my movie choices, I’ve always loved Hellraiser.

There’s always been something about Pinhead that I’ve liked, as for Werewolf in London, it’s a classic, and still one of the best werewolf transformations ever put on film, regardless of when it was made.

I’ve always been kind of dark, but I’ve kept it hidden from people, I knew they’d think I was a bit off. I wrote short stories and poetry in high school that may have been construed as, different.

I like my dark passenger, like Dexter, without all the serial killer part, I find solace in my darker self. It helped me get through middle school and my parents divorce when I was eight.

Today it helps me get through my writing struggles and it helps me deal with life. Without using my darker self I think I’d be in an asylum next to Lovecraft.

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One Response to On The Road With My Darker Self.

  1. ” burrowed itself into my head, it’s contemplating its next move, biding its time.” Great line – intense. You are a writer.

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