Who Am I, Really?

Authenticity is important. It tells people who you are, what you write and what you think of yourself.

Something has changed with me the last few days. It started with my day job.

Las Vegas Strip (Panorama)

Las Vegas Strip (Panorama) (Photo credit: www78)

For those that don’t know, I’m a barback/bartender on the Las Vegas strip. This means I stock beer, glasses and sometimes I pour drinks.

It happened on a day that should have been great. The day before was busy and I made a good amount of gratuity. But I walked in, the bar was trashed. It took me four hours into my shift to get the mess cleaned up.

While I was doing this cleaning, I realized I wasn’t working as hard with my writing job as I was with my day job at the bar. This is something I hadn’t thought of and I was little pissed that I work so hard at my day job, but I do my writing half-assed.

At my day job I worked so hard I got home and collapsed. I’d used all my effort to leave the bar good for the next shift. I almost always do this, because honestly, sometimes I don’t work as hard as I should because I’m tired from the day before when I did work hard.

If I’d put in the effort with my writing, both here on the Inkwell and with my book I wouldn’t be talking about finishing a book on this blog, I’d be talking about my agent, publisher, cover designer and other such things, but I’m not because for some asinine reason I wasn’t working as hard as I should have been, and with that I haven’t been honest to you, my readers about who I am.

I’m 36, I live in Las Vegas and I say the “F” word a lot more than I should. I also love to read philosophy because I find it interesting and I enjoy the looks I get on the bus when I’m reading Nietzsche.

I love my wife more than she’d believe. My son has ADHD and is an artist with Legos, my little girl is demanding and wants everything now, like me. I stare at my bookcase of authors and wonder where my name would fit, they’re alphabetized, and I have OCD with a few things.

I’ve been Buddhist for twelve years and don’t meditate as often as I should.

My current WiP is a Y/A-Science Fiction story that I love, but I also write horror stories and stories which I do for fun.

I would love to be a stay-at-home dad, because I’m a good dad and I’d rather be with my wife and kids than slinging drinks to tourists.

My favorite book is The Road by Cormac MacCarthy, because it’s dark and I like to think that happy endings really do happen, even if bad things happen along the way.

So, here’s what’s going to happen.

Over the next few weeks I’m going to put more effort into my writing, all of my writing, and we’ll see where we are after that.

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One Response to Who Am I, Really?

  1. You do what you can – life has a way of intruding (if you are a responsible person). Generally things happens as they are supposed to.
    Still there are choices daily and important to make time for what keeps you alive and happy while you deal with the rest

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