Who are you?
This is one of the greatest questions man has had.
In the end, who we are is of no consequence to what we’ve done with the time we have.
We can sit around, watch TV, play on the computer or we can do things that a few have done.
We can write stories that stretch the imagination and create characters that will make people love us.
But if you’re writing for the adoration of others, to use one of my favorite memes, You’re doing it wrong.
Write For You
If you write because you want to see your picture up with the greats like Hemingway, Fitzgerald and others, you’re doing it wrong. You should be writing for one person, and only one person. Yourself.
It has taken me longer than it should have to learn this. I’ve written for too long for it not to have sunk in, but it didn’t until recently, until I was at my wits end with this blog and my other writing, until I was ready to give it all up and say Fuck it, something I don’t say on the blog, well, because I don’t like to curse on here, it’s not what this blog is about.
But I nearly said those words to my wife and myself, but it was something my son wrote that made me keep writing.
For school recently my son had to do a writing project, something he isn’t crazy about, but he does it because he knows he has to.
The topic was, Who’s your hero?
He chose me.
Not so much because I was his dad, but because I’m a writer. I write about monsters and other scary things, his words.
When I read those words I learned something about him, something I never truly felt about my dad as a kid.
He likes that I write and likes that I play with his Legos and take him to movies we both like. Because that’s what he thinks dads are supposed to do.
When I was a kid we went to movies and hockey games, but my dad always did those things because he wanted to do them too, I don’t remember him ever playing with me, taking me places that I wanted to go. We always went places he wanted to go.
I’ve always wanted to be someone my son could look up to, the way I wanted to look up to my dad. But my dad and I haven’t seen eye to eye since I was a kid. Since I’ve had kids of my own we never have.
I wish I could love my dad as much as my son loves me, but I can’t.
My son has made me want to be someone I didn’t believe I could be, his role model and a dad that he needs instead of the dad that I wanted to be.